Monday, November 10, 2014

Sex education to students

There is much ado for sex education for boys and girls in school. Some groups suggest that sex education is essential to students at school level while other conservationists retain that it is not necessary at schools. I consulted many psychologists and other senior level teachers and they gave me their varied views. Here I wish to put them so that my readers may get some idea about what is exactly proper.

First I asked them what they expect to be included in the subject as sex education and what is the ultimate aim at this endeavor. On this I saw there was no one opinion amongst them. Some suggested that students should be taught physiology of sex organs while others pointed out that in normal study of that subject this topic is already included so, that is not necessary to be included in that subject. A few pointed out to me that the very purpose of sex education is to make their mind ready to accept the newly acquired sense of sexuality and not get over powered by it so that they may go out of control. The question is how to do it?

Over the study some things became clear to me on one point that is amongst students boys were not very particular to know much about sexuality. For them wet drams was not a big issue. Most do masturbation naturally but most of them do not develop habit for it as boys do not have a very intense sex feelings. Rising of penis is not only due to sexuality but in most cases it happens due to urine. And therefore, boys no of that even before they enter puberty. Growing of hair on face is also not something that needs to be taken very seriously. Overall boys take the new changes without getting unduly curious about it. While for girls things were not that simple. Girls were more anxious to know more about sexuality. They had begun to get monthly period and that lasts for some days making things rather embarrassing to them. As for boys wet dream is not a very complex experience but for girls period is not an easy experience. Many girls have difficulty in that period such as stomach aches, bleeding, white discharge or red discharge and many such complex things can happen with them. Particularly if the girl is not healthy things become more complicated. These experiences make the girl introvert asking many questions to herself because in our society asking questions on these topics is a big taboo. At the same time that feeling of love towards opposite sex becomes an additional complexity. Most girls do not understand what is happening to them. Most girls prefer to trust their father but that man behaves strangely and that makes thing difficult for them to understand as to why my father is behaving like this to me. On the other side they cannot ask questions to their mothers or any elderly woman. Often men in the family continue to behave very strangely with that girl; making things more difficult to grasp. While these changes are taking place one more change takes place in them. Most develop breasts. This growth gives a very peculiar feeling to them. Some girls have big blossoms and making things adjustable with those growing blossoms adds to their curiosity and embarrassment. Nevertheless, curiosity keeps on increasing in their minds. Often they discuss matters with their fellow friend but even they are not knowing what all this is. They acquire extra shamefulness due to it. Most girls become more mature because of all these complicated experiences. We see girls of same age as boys are more mature, while boys keep playing pranks girls remain cautious and guarded. Many girls do not get proper guidance from their mothers and in most cases I was told by some teachers that when they ask their mothers about it they are not told anything convincing. When they ask about it their father, he may even beat them because she is asking questions on that. That makes them behave reserved. This uncouthness makes things so much more difficult for that girl that finally she decides to do some experiment on it and there the real trouble begins. She begin to ask about it to other girls and when they do not get proper guidance they develop desire to experiment in it. In most house asking or talking about sexuality is taboo. Our religions are to be blamed for this sorry situation. Elders scold them and that adds to their curiosity all the more. In many cases elders themselves do not have proper ideas about what is healthy sex practices. On that one lady psychologist told me that in place of teaching sex to student it will be better if parents are given lessons in that subject. Because if mother knows how to satisfy her daughter's curiosity in the home many untoward incidences would be avoided. Knowledge on such sensitive subject should go from their dear ones and not from strangers like a teacher.

In many religions discussing this topic is forbidden. Sex is treated as something like necessary evil. In most religions woman is condemned as a person of sin! This teaching has caused many reactions from lesser intelligent people and they maltreat their women. Priests often encourage offense against women due to this teaching. This confuse these children (both boys and girls) all the more. Till recently in most religions woman priest is not allowed. Whereas that is the most important requirement as half the society is made of women. Many men priests are found to be psychos (mentally derailed). A dangerous feeling of animosity in the minds of girls is automatically created and often it shows up on some occasions. Technically boys are not much bothered because their sexuality in not very intense. Most religions treat them as special person above girl. If a boy develops attraction for a girl that girl is blamed for it and the boy remains free from any blame. Whereas for girls their sexuality is very intense. Therefore, most agreed to one point that sex education is more essential for girls than for boys. Boys can manage without any special education but girls need it. Where mothers are careful about their daughters and properly guide them lovingly, those girls do not develop any misunderstanding about sex. How to remove adverse effect due to religion and their wrong teaching is one subject difficult to address. Over emphasis on love and such things shown in films also give wrong signals to these children. We should control films to avoid that. Present censor board is not doing any thing to avoid such films. Many blue films are passed as normal films, an example is of "Dirty Picture". Corruption in censor board needs to be controlled to avoid this.

My second question was what that sex course should teach to girls? One psychologist suggested that they should know more about man, since they already know of their body naturally. Here knowing is not connected with body alone but more about psychology of men. They hoped that if this is properly achieved girls will become more easy on that feeling and will be able to control their feelings so that they do not advance in the wrong direction. The subject is to know a safe man from unsafe one.

Amongst girls also not all need that training. Only about 10 percent girls have excessive sexuality. Many are dormant and actually they do not need any training. In training some suggested that girls should be able to know good touch from bad touch. One observation told that this sense most girls have naturally and so there is no need for teaching it to them. A psychologist feared that if wrong teaching is practiced, instead of helping girls it may further aggravate the sexuality of those girls. While attempting to teach girls one care be taken that teacher is not a psychopath himself or herself. otherwise the teaching may go wrong!

One expert suggested that if we could inculcate frigidity through such teaching girls will be safe as they will not take initiative in sexual activity of themselves. This suggestion is important because in most of the molestation cases of sexual assaults the trouble begins because the concerned girl takes initiative in that act. And as that act frightens her she begins to oppose it and thereafter the unholy thing or crime may happen. That means if girls do not take initiative most such molestation cases will not happen. The expert told me that this is the finding of police department as provided to law courts during many such cases.

One suggestion I liked, in that he told me that instead of educating students their parents particularly mother need be educated about how to prepare their daughter for this newly acquired sensuality. This is important because for girls their mother is most trusted person and what they teach is what they accept without resistance. If sex education which is a very sensitive topic is given by strangers such as a school teacher, they may not accept it. Mothers will explain to daughter about how to manage monthly period and many related subjects more easily as girls trust them most.

Last suggestion I got to which I agree and that is if at all government wants to educate students they should do it at college level and not at school level. Who will teach the subject is also important. If male teacher teaches things can go wrong very easily. Because we do not know how normal that male teacher is. If the teacher is himself perverted things can go very wrong. The damage done will be irreparable. One educationist suggested if any sex education is to be give it should not be in a very straight form but through stories. Conclusion of those stories would give the required lesson to them. One more thing I must add before concluding this topic sex education of boys is not the same as that of girls. Girls needs are much different and complex than those of boys. That means separate classes will be required for them only for this one subject. This is not possible in most cases.

We may ask some responsible producers of movies to come with movies those will teach sex while entertaining. I know it is not an easy work because one small mistake in preparing a script for such a movie can cause much damage.

Finally we concluded that teaching parents is more sensible than teaching wards as far as this subject is concerned. Another point that if at all they want to teach this sensitive subject to student they should do it in colleges and not in schools.


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Ashok Kothare, http://ashokkotharesblog.blogspot.com/ for stories
I reckon, http://kothareviews.blogspot.com/ for philosophy
You may visit blog, Ideas and tips on any subject, http://kotharay.blogspot.in/ for intelligent discussions.
Freedom of Expression, http://kothare-thinks.blogspot.in/

Freedom of Expression, http://blogs.siliconindia.com/kothare/