There is much ado for sex education for boys and girls in school.
Some groups suggest that sex education is essential to students at
school level while other conservationists retain that it is not
necessary at schools. I consulted many psychologists and other senior
level teachers and they gave me their varied views. Here I wish to
put them so that my readers may get some idea about what is exactly
proper.
First I asked them what they expect to be included in the subject as
sex education and what is the ultimate aim at this endeavor. On this
I saw there was no one opinion amongst them. Some suggested that
students should be taught physiology of sex organs while others
pointed out that in normal study of that subject this topic is
already included so, that is not necessary to be included in that
subject. A few pointed out to me that the very purpose of sex
education is to make their mind ready to accept the newly acquired
sense of sexuality and not get over powered by it so that they may go
out of control. The question is how to do it?
Over the study some things became clear to me on one point that is
amongst students boys were not very particular to know much about
sexuality. For them wet drams was not a big issue. Most do
masturbation naturally but most of them do not develop habit for it
as boys do not have a very intense sex feelings. Rising of penis is
not only due to sexuality but in most cases it happens due to urine.
And therefore, boys no of that even before they enter puberty.
Growing of hair on face is also not something that needs to be taken
very seriously. Overall boys take the new changes without getting
unduly curious about it. While for girls things were not that simple.
Girls were more anxious to know more about sexuality. They had begun
to get monthly period and that lasts for some days making things
rather embarrassing to them. As for boys wet dream is not a very
complex experience but for girls period is not an easy experience.
Many girls have difficulty in that period such as stomach aches,
bleeding, white discharge or red discharge and many such complex
things can happen with them. Particularly if the girl is not healthy
things become more complicated. These experiences make the girl
introvert asking many questions to herself because in our society
asking questions on these topics is a big taboo. At the same time
that feeling of love towards opposite sex becomes an additional
complexity. Most girls do not understand what is happening to them.
Most girls prefer to trust their father but that man behaves
strangely and that makes thing difficult for them to understand as to
why my father is behaving like this to me. On the other side they
cannot ask questions to their mothers or any elderly woman. Often men
in the family continue to behave very strangely with that girl;
making things more difficult to grasp. While these changes are taking
place one more change takes place in them. Most develop breasts. This
growth gives a very peculiar feeling to them. Some girls have big
blossoms and making things adjustable with those growing blossoms
adds to their curiosity and embarrassment. Nevertheless, curiosity
keeps on increasing in their minds. Often they discuss matters with
their fellow friend but even they are not knowing what all this is.
They acquire extra shamefulness due to it. Most girls become more
mature because of all these complicated experiences. We see girls of
same age as boys are more mature, while boys keep playing pranks
girls remain cautious and guarded. Many girls do not get proper
guidance from their mothers and in most cases I was told by some
teachers that when they ask their mothers about it they are not told
anything convincing. When they ask about it their father, he may even
beat them because she is asking questions on that. That makes them
behave reserved. This uncouthness makes things so much more difficult
for that girl that finally she decides to do some experiment on it
and there the real trouble begins. She begin to ask about it to other
girls and when they do not get proper guidance they develop desire to
experiment in it. In most house asking or talking about sexuality is
taboo. Our religions are to be blamed for this sorry situation.
Elders scold them and that adds to their curiosity all the more. In
many cases elders themselves do not have proper ideas about what is
healthy sex practices. On that one lady psychologist told me that in
place of teaching sex to student it will be better if parents are
given lessons in that subject. Because if mother knows how to satisfy
her daughter's curiosity in the home many untoward incidences would
be avoided. Knowledge on such sensitive subject should go from their
dear ones and not from strangers like a teacher.
In many religions discussing this topic is forbidden. Sex is treated
as something like necessary evil. In most religions woman is
condemned as a person of sin! This teaching has caused many reactions
from lesser intelligent people and they maltreat their women. Priests
often encourage offense against women due to this teaching. This
confuse these children (both boys and girls) all the more. Till
recently in most religions woman priest is not allowed. Whereas that
is the most important requirement as half the society is made of
women. Many men priests are found to be psychos (mentally derailed).
A dangerous feeling of animosity in the minds of girls is
automatically created and often it shows up on some occasions.
Technically boys are not much bothered because their sexuality in not
very intense. Most religions treat them as special person above girl.
If a boy develops attraction for a girl that girl is blamed for it
and the boy remains free from any blame. Whereas for girls their
sexuality is very intense. Therefore, most agreed to one point that
sex education is more essential for girls than for boys. Boys can
manage without any special education but girls need it. Where mothers
are careful about their daughters and properly guide them lovingly, those girls do not develop any misunderstanding about sex. How to remove
adverse effect due to religion and their wrong teaching is one
subject difficult to address. Over emphasis on love and such things
shown in films also give wrong signals to these children. We should
control films to avoid that. Present censor board is not doing any
thing to avoid such films. Many blue films are passed as normal
films, an example is of "Dirty Picture". Corruption in
censor board needs to be controlled to avoid this.
My second question was what that sex course should teach to girls?
One psychologist suggested that they should know more about man,
since they already know of their body naturally. Here knowing is not
connected with body alone but more about psychology of men. They
hoped that if this is properly achieved girls will become more easy
on that feeling and will be able to control their feelings so that
they do not advance in the wrong direction. The subject is to know a safe man from unsafe one.
Amongst girls also not all need that training. Only about 10 percent
girls have excessive sexuality. Many are dormant and actually they do
not need any training. In training some suggested that girls should
be able to know good touch from bad touch. One observation told that
this sense most girls have naturally and so there is no need for
teaching it to them. A psychologist feared that if wrong teaching is
practiced, instead of helping girls it may further aggravate the
sexuality of those girls. While attempting to teach girls one care be taken that teacher is not a psychopath himself or herself. otherwise the teaching may go wrong!
One expert suggested that if we could inculcate frigidity through
such teaching girls will be safe as they will not take initiative in
sexual activity of themselves. This suggestion is important because
in most of the molestation cases of sexual assaults the trouble
begins because the concerned girl takes initiative in that act. And
as that act frightens her she begins to oppose it and thereafter the
unholy thing or crime may happen. That means if girls do not take
initiative most such molestation cases will not happen. The expert
told me that this is the finding of police department as provided to
law courts during many such cases.
One suggestion I liked, in that he told me that instead of educating
students their parents particularly mother need be educated about how
to prepare their daughter for this newly acquired sensuality. This is
important because for girls their mother is most trusted person and
what they teach is what they accept without resistance. If sex
education which is a very sensitive topic is given by strangers such
as a school teacher, they may not accept it. Mothers will explain to
daughter about how to manage monthly period and many related subjects
more easily as girls trust them most.
Last suggestion I got to which I agree and that is if at all
government wants to educate students they should do it at college
level and not at school level. Who will teach the subject is also
important. If male teacher teaches things can go wrong very easily.
Because we do not know how normal that male teacher is. If the
teacher is himself perverted things can go very wrong. The damage
done will be irreparable. One educationist suggested if any sex
education is to be give it should not be in a very straight form but
through stories. Conclusion of those stories would give the required
lesson to them. One more thing I must add before concluding this
topic sex education of boys is not the same as that of girls. Girls
needs are much different and complex than those of boys. That means
separate classes will be required for them only for this one subject.
This is not possible in most cases.
We may ask some responsible producers of movies to come with movies
those will teach sex while entertaining. I know it is not an easy
work because one small mistake in preparing a script for such a movie
can cause much damage.
Finally we concluded that teaching parents is more sensible than
teaching wards as far as this subject is concerned. Another point
that if at all they want to teach this sensitive subject to student
they should do it in colleges and not in schools.
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